My Christmas Wish

A friend recently asked me what I would give myself for Christmas. I stopped asking for gifts years ago. Somehow material things didn't matter anymore. I said:

"My gift to myself is to try to make myself happy this Christmas."

A lot of things have been bothering me lately. Family, friends... mostly family. Well... mostly mom actually. I tried to get into the Christmas spirit, so I planned out a little something that I would do for my family and friends. Well, it didn't push through. Don't ask, just felt like it.

A few days before what used to be my favorite day of the year, I felt that this year's Christmas would be the saddest one in 22 years. On Christmas Eve, we had our usual turkey dinner with other stuff. I cooked the turkey as usual (since mom had had it when she always try to cook it -- it always turned out tough or raw). Mom was telling me to divide the ham into three portions to be stored in the fridge, which I thought was pointless. Nobody was even at the dinner table at the same time. My younger brother, Abie, was watching TV in the living room. My sister, Joan, was in her room finishing her cross-stitching project for school. My special brother, Mickey, was walking in and out of the house as usual. Dad and I were pretty much the only two people stationary at the table, while mom was moving in and out the kitchen.

Nobody even greeted anybody "Merry Christmas." I thought, that was it. This IS the saddest Christmas ever.

I had to go out.

I met up with DJ, texted Andy and "kidnapped" Mimi. Somehow I felt better being with a group of people who sort of felt the same way as I did about this year's Christmas. It was my first Christmas Eve not spent entirely at home. We tried to make the most out of it. We went to our usual hangout place, Select (yes, as in the convenient store in Shell gas station), and bought some beer (I don't really drink but I felt like it). Later on, two of our other hangout buddies came, Jomar and Ian. So there we were, greeting each other "Merry Christmas" while drinking beer, sharing jokes, talking about the upcoming World Pyro Olympics and aphrodisiacs (don't really remember how that got in the picture).

Somehow I wasn't sad anymore.

On the way home, I caught myself smiling. Maybe I was wrong about this year's Christmas... because I still found the time to think of the non-worldly things that I have. Mom and I may have our issues, but I guess we have this unwritten agreement that we can fight like sisters but still act like best friends.

Well, I guess I did get my Christmas gift after all.

Merry Christmas! :-)