Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I'm a Magistrate

I want to think that I'm a nice person. I have been told that a lot of times. But of course, for those who think otherwise, well... I cannot please everybody. But I don't take it against them. I actually respect their views.

You see, friends and enemies (or at least people who see me as an enemy) have proven that I'm a girl you may hate to love or love to hate. I'm possibly just misunderstood, but I have become used to people reacting differently towards me.

I couldn't understand why people tend to strongly react to my personality before, until a burst of clarity came to me after a quick communication style test during one of my Public Relations classes. Like always, I remember not going through the assigned readings that day, but of all the topics discussed, this is possibly the only thing that got stuck in my brain when I try to remember my PR classes. That... and that our professor worked for San Miguel.

I am a Magistrate.

"A Magistrate?" you may ask. Well, according to Linda McCallister, there are six styles of communication divided into three categories namely, the dominant styles (The Noble, The Socratic and The Reflective), the blended styles (The Magistrate, The Candidate) and the dual style (The Senator). As much as I would want everybody to find out their communication style, this is a 20-something-page reading material which I am not planning to transcribe. So just for everybody to have an understanding of why you love (or hate) me so much, here's an excerpt from McCallister's book I Wish I'd Said That! How toTalk Your Way Out of Trouble and into Success.

The Magistrate: Geraldo, Dixie, and Muhammad Ali

People tend to have intense reactions to the Magistrate. There doesn't appear to be any middle ground for this Noble-Socratic blended communicator. If the Noble or the Socratic can make an impression on you as a communicator, then the Magistrate can be twice as impressive. If the Noble or the Socratic can anger you with his or her style of communication, then the Magistrate can make you twice as angry. The Magistrate is a very strong communicator - in both positive and negative terms. The other person either really loves or really hates this style.

Geraldo Rivera, Larry King, and Muhammad Ali display the Magistrate style of communication. Think about these fellows. They are not "take 'em or leave 'em" type of people. These Magistrates evoke intense reactions from others. They are not Noble, and they are not Socratic. They are Noble and Socratic at the same time. This creates a style that is very different from dominant-style communicators.

Magistrates speak with an air of superiority. They feel they are right, there is usually little room for opposing views, and they definitely feel the need to expose the other person's shortcomings. Listen for the air of superiority and to Victor's direct, blunt, detailed, and verbose Magistrate sound as he tells Fred he made an error:

"That wasn't the smartest move you've ever made Fred. You know we aren't running a clarity here. You have to undertand that when you agree to change an order, there are a lot of ramifications. I know you don't want to alienate the customer, but the customer isn't always right. They don't always know what's best for them. I personally believe you could have convinced him to keep the order the way it was. I know you could have. I've had a lot of experience, you know. Maybe you can watch the way I handle things the next time. You know, its not really all that difficult. You have to be a bit of an actor, a bit of a teacher, and a bit of a comedian. You start by letting them think you agree, but then you begin to give them pieces of information and statistics that show your way would be more beneficial. You add a couple of humorous anecdotes when you see them softening, and if that doesn't work, you get a little tough. Let me tell you about how I handled the Barron account last month. Barron is a tough cookie, but I managed to swing him over. I started by... etc, etc, etc..."

The Magistrate blends together verbal characteristics that at first glance appear incompatible. For example, the Magistrate is both verbose and straightforward. Magistrates tell you exactly what they think -- and in great detail. Dixie Carter, who plays Julia Sugarbaker on "Designing Women," generates a lot of laughter with this technique. Julia has intense feelings on all topics, and she delivers her diatribes as if she were on a podium surrounded by multitudes of followers. Her oration is typically followed by dead silence or a thunderous ovation from the audience.

Magistrates tend to sound self-righteous, but their harangues can be humorous. They tend to speak as if they were writing one long paragraph, and they jump from one idea to the next without a pause or creating a new paragraph. They tend to use a colorful and somewhat exaggerated description of events, and they speak with enthusiasm *some-text-missing-because-photocopying-machine-is-crappy*, and a bit of braggadocio.

Magistrates don't come to for once they start a thought, they don't give you a chance to interject your thoughts. They are totally comfortable with dominating the conversation and in an argument speak louder, talk over the other person and do not hesistate to insult the opponent verbally.

The Magistrate is the most powerful of all communicators. Not better or worse -- just powerful. This is because the Magistrate draws upon and actively uses a much larger set of characteristics than does a dominant-style communicator. As you will see in the following chapters, Nobles and Socratics each thirty or so identifiable communication characteristics they tend to rely upon, but the Magistrate has more than sixty from which to choose. This is both a blessing and a curse for the Magistrate because this profile has double the strengths and double the problems. Thus, when Magistrates are communicating well, they are doing it very well, and when they are communicating badly, they are doing it badly.

If you have ever said, "That is the most dynamic speaker I have ever heard," you were probably listening to a Magistrate. Similarly, if you heard yourself saying, "That is the most obnoxious person I have ever spoken with," you were probably speaking with a Magistrate. They are intense communicators who tell exactly how they feel, and they tell you in great detail. They are tottaly committed to winning arguments and tend not to give up. They can be eloquent, and they can be overbearing. They are the best and the worst of two worlds.

NOTE: As far as I can remember, I was the only Magistrate in class. Most of them were Nobles and Socratics, a few Reflectives and I think two Candidates. The professor was a Senator.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Call

May 18, 2006... 3:07 P.M.

They called.

After more than 6 long months of waiting.

I got accepted.

They were asking me to come over sometime next week.

I wanted it so much then.

I'm not sure if I still want it now.

Deliberation time again.

I don't want to think so much anymore.

Time for my ever-so-impractical decision-making device.

*coin toss*



We'll just see what happens then.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Everyday Drama

I never really talked about my emotions in this blog. I made it a personal rule to reserve all my melodrama in the other blog which I have been thinking of deleting. But rules are meant to be broken, and I don't even know why I'm typing away.

I have been thinking happy thoughts lately. Going back to work made me forget I had problems. You may find it funny, but I think the gravity of my problems are directly proportional to the amount of clutter I have in my room (and, judging by the looks of my sanctuary called mess, go figure). But somehow, the passed few weeks have distracted me from overanalyzing myself like I usually do and kept me smiling without me realizing it. It's a nice feeling though, because I do tend to pressure myself with the demands of others, despite the fact that I believe that I can't please everybody.

I also realized that it is only me and Chiara in my high school barkada who's currently single. I would tease her that at least I have experienced being in a relationship. But I do miss the feeling of falling in love, and I am priviliged enough to experience it a few times in my life. Chiara Daah-ling, imagine how our Tagaytay trip would've gone if I brought a boyfriend too!

A friend of mine named Mark did tell me that I do tend to pick the wrong men. But who are the wrong men anyway? Anybody who is not your ideal or someone else's? As the cliche goes, how can something so wrong feel so right. I personally find it more noble to fall for someone for their flaws since it takes a greater amount of love to fall for that person's imperfections. I am guilty of that. Historically speaking, I'm always like that.

Heck, what was my point?!

No matter how much I get hurt, I find myself being incredibly resilient when I get myself on my feet. I do miss being with someone. I never found myself saying, "I miss being single." Oh boy, I just realized that my last real date was ages ago. Not to brag, but I remember a time I had 6 dates in a week. And FYI, I didn't count... someone took the liberty of doing so the moment I became single a year ago, which eventually ended up being one of those 6 dates that week. Hay naku... men and the things you do to try to get a girl. Well, 5 out of 6 of them were jerks anyway. I'd rather have a date to remember once a year rather than a gazillion trillion million forgettables in a month.

I'm proud of myself for one thing though. Friendship is something that I will never again take for granted. I chose a boyfriend over a friend once. Come to think of it, twice. I had no regrets then. But I do now. Somehow I find myself happy just being with the company of friends and I can't believe I missed out on all that fun. I'm never taking my friends for granted like that again. Ever.

Friday, May 12, 2006

The Bum's Finally Working

Yes. I'm finally working. And yes. The job comes with 5-digit salary that can (potentially) cover all my expenditures. And yes, its in a call center. Again. And no. I really AM having fun this time. Despite everything I have said regarding the industry.

I ate my words, so sue me.

I go to work. I don't really work... per se. But I am in a payroll. I'm not complaining.

So is there anything new that came with my new job? Several things:

1. I am now dependent on a drug I rarely used before. Antacids. I can't help it. I have to. I laugh hysterically everytime I'm in the office.

2. My transportation expenses drastically dropped. I don't have to pay toll (which consistently increases). I don't have to pay parking (which, again, consistently increases). I don't have to get a full tank of gas more than twice a week. And I can finally leave my house just 15 minutes before my shift and suprisingly I still have enough time to park my car, get coffee, go to the bathroom, put my phone on silent mode, and still have a few seconds to spare before timing in.

3. I realized how much I have changed since high school (physically and mentally). Everyday I bump into someone I know. High school classmates, college acquaintances, old friends, and the like. Most of them did not recognize me at first.

4. I have become punctual. I am in shock. No lates since day one. Nor absences. That's a record-breaker.

5. I started jogging. Alone. That's a bigger shock.

6. I am loving the fact that I don't worry about "leverage." Starting from the bottom again gave me back the freedom I thought I lost when I became a team leader. Now I remember my other reasons why I turned down promotions early on.

So that's me. I miss going out though. But at least I get to save. I have been thinking of moving out. That's my next goal. Complete independence. My deadline is when I turn 24. Hehehe! Well... I have to be realistic.